Black Trauma, Black Pain

Abuse doesn’t always have to be physical. It can be verbal and mental. For the first time in my life I think I’m in a verbally abusive relationship. Most of us blacks didn’t consider therapy or that different types of abuse even existed until social media. As a Black person you’re taught to be tough and strong. This Black trauma that I’m talking about stems deep starting with slavery, lack of financial resources and education and buying into a system that was never meant to free us, but keep us in bondage mentally and financially.

I continue to have these conversations with my abuser whom is a black man who is just dealing with what life has given him. So, I give him the benefit of doubt, I know who he is and where he comes from so either he doesn’t see that he has issues and he won’t accept it, or he knows his ways and continues to try and bring me down with him. The main signs of verbal abuse that I hear from him are constant negative comments towards my ideas and things I like, lifelessness in daily talk and activities, no sensitivity towards my autistic son’s disabilities.

I empathize and sympathize with this man because I know many men like him and I’m even one of them in some ways because we come from the same place. The difference is that I’m a black female and have had different experiences and a good childhood growing up which many can’t say. I’m writing this because I understand the trauma but that doesn’t make it ok. Something needs to be done on a grand scale for Black people who have experienced trauma to be able to recognize it, accept it and change it. If not we will just continue to be a really messed up cultural group.